Debra, calm down. You're reacting to missing squash like the time we left Ally at the mall!

Ray: All three kids asleep. You thought I couldn't get Ally to take a nap.
Debra: Good job, honey.
Ray: Yeah. By the way, tomorrow we have to buy a pony.

Ray: Listen dad, when was the last time you said I love you to someone?
Frank: What? Do you live in a freaking fairyland?

Marie: I've got baking soda! I smelled something questionable in the fridge.
Ray: From across the street?
Marie: No, when I was here yesterday. Oh, It's worse!