Here's Mr. T's head on Spock's body. I pity the fool that is illogical.

Leonard: You want to talk endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: Dude, there's six seasons.
Leonard: Oh crap.

What did you do, Romeo? Did you pour maple syrup all over your body and ask her if she was in the mood for a short stack?

Enjoy the accolades now, Wil Wheaton. But like your time on Star Trek: The Next Generation, your smug self-satisfaction will be short-lived.

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask as many as possible.

Despite their tendency to build Death Stars, I've always been more of an Empire man.

Howard: Women, huh? Can't live with 'em; can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.

Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."

Wolowitz: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helically around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

You're far too short to be Darth Vader. You're much more likely to be a turncoat Ewok.

I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

I don't like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family.

I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also it's really scary.

I believe I'll gain acceptance by arbitrarily siding with your friends from time to time.

Indian Monopoly is just like regular Monopoly, but instead of money you use rupees, instead of building hotels you build call centers, and when you pick a chance card there's a chance you die of dysentery. And just FYI, that was racist.

I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together, and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will.

Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.