Recently Added Quotes


I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.


Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.


Elaine: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted: What is it?
Elaine: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.


Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home.


Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.


Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.


The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.


Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?


I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.


Jim never vomits at home.

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